should be doing diaper laundry right now, but….

I just don’t feel like it. I’m totally having kind of a downer day. not sure why… I went to work this morning… and it was a really good day. always nice to go to work… I like feeling productive… and I like being around adults… and a break from being covered in spittle is always nice. then I came home and both john abd baby g were in good moods… baby g smiled at me right when I walked in. it hit me then, that I had missed him like crazy. that’s the only part of this working thing thats a bummer… I feel like I’m going to miss things. I guess I AM going to miss things… and I don’t want to. miss. anything.

maybe that’s what’s got me down. maybe I’m a tad californiasick – it happens on occasion. it’s getting less and less frequent… but I just wish we had more family around. I could use the support. hanging out with katherine over the weekend just proved to me how much I miss hanging out with friends and family. (she’s coming over on thursday, eep! we’re gonna hang out and do a diaper swap. it’s the little things.)… and I’ve been missing john a lot lately. when I was pregnant and he was working third shift it was great. I was having a lot of trouble sleeping at night and frankly, I didn’t miss his snoring. plus, we had much more time together during the day… when I would come home from work… but now, in a flurry of babymania… I’m feeling more lonely than I’ve felt in a long time. don’t get me wrong, I love g to pieces… but he’s not huge on conversation, ifyouknowwhatimean…

on a happier note, he’s sleeping much better at night. he fell asleep last night at 7:30… gave him a (gasp!) bottle at 10:30, he fell right back to sleep. he got up once more at 2:30… and then I got up for work at six… and he still hadn’t woken up. thankthelordjesus… he seems to be settling into a routine. I actually went to work today feeling semi-rested… what? yeah, you heard me. semi-rested. win.

john just came down the stairs. he looks like the walking dead… told him he should go back to sleep… he looks at me glossy-eyed and says, “but I really want to hang out with you…” at least it’s not just me.

toodloo for now.

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One thought on “should be doing diaper laundry right now, but….

  1. randalin says:

    I say this all the time – but I really do think that finding balance is the hardest part about being a mom. I don’t know if perfect balance can ever be achieved, but as long as we keep striving for it I think we’re on the right track.

    I think.

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