Category Archives: bebe

oh the drama…

today has been… a day. a horrid kind of day. the kind of day you want to rewind and skip! but, obv we can’t do that, so why don’t I blog about it already.

g has had an INSANE rash for the last couple of weeks (yes, it’s been that long. not exaggerating.). we’ve seen the peed three times for it and nothing seems to be helping. if it’s still here in a week I have to take him back to the peed for some tests. it’s a very angry rash that worries the crap out of me… and up until the last couple of days he didn’t seem to notice… but the last couple of days he’s been super whiny and obv uncomfortable… so it’s been not so smiley around here. combine that with teething and a monstrous growth spurt (21 and a half pounds!!!)… and you’ve got yourself a recipe for an incredible grouchy baby and a frantic mama. I’m tired! so… long story short… I’m glad today is done. hoping and praying this rash goes away soon and it becomes a distant memory… until then, pray my nerves don’t curl up in a ball and die. mmmk? moving on to the happy stuff…

g army crawled for the first time today!!!! best part? john and I BOTH witnessed it! it was all kinds of awesome. he saw a toy he wanted and he dragged himself on over to it… all kinds of amazing. on the flip side… he now knows he can get where ever he wants… which is not always a good thing… but it’s still fun to watch him explore his surroundings…

on another awesome note… g’s smartrike came today! it’s a gadget I’ve been eyeing since before he was born, but it’s wicked expensive… so I wasn’t going to get one. but then the other day good ole’ zulily had a sale on it… I couldn’t help myself… I pounced!! it took about a million years to put together and a million breaks to tend to my super grouchy and mega whiny almost 8 month old, but once it was done… it was fabulous! I’m super stoked on it. once I got it put together g and I took a walk. which was great because it gave both of us some much needed fresh air and it gave him some time to chill out… okay, gave both of us some time to chill out… best part? the greenbelt in our neighborhood was full of little brown bunnies! they must have followed us here from connecticut! they were so cute!!! anywho, it was the perfect end to a challenging day… and now g is sound asleep and I? well I get to have time to RELAX. nighty night friends…

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2 hours a day…

of pure stinking cuteness. since returning to the eye doc last week we have had to patch g’s eye not for one, but for TWO hours a day. a sentence I thought would be unbearable… but he’s been super good about it this time… almost like he knows it’s crunch time for that sweet little eye of his. doc said he’s most likely going to end up in glasses regardless… which is a bummer… it’s just a matter of when… I’m hoping these patches will help work a miracle… we shall see. on the other hand though… if he can make a patch cute… surely he can rock glasses… that’s all for now. toodloo…

oh and p.s. where are his uff da eye patches? unfortunately, this kiddos head grew to monstrous proportions… haha. no but seriously, his head got too big. seriously.

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becoming a mother.

when does motherhood begin?

is it when you see the two brand new shiny lines on the pregnancy test? is it when you excitedly run to your husband/boyfriend/partner/etc to share the news? is when the delivery nurses place that screaming pink baby on your chest? is it when you leave the hospital and realize this baby is yours for good? is motherhood a physical act or a emotional one? or both?

being around my mom for the last couple of days and hearing her refer to me as “mama” has got me wondering… when did I become mama? and then of course my brain went into… what qualifies me to be one? yes… that’s how I roll people.

my mom and I have had a rocky twenty six years together. we were never the bff’s she and my sister are… we drove each other batty pretty much the entire time. I was that girl that practically sprinted out the front door the day of my high school graduation… my mom’s favorite quote is… you were independent from the moment you were born. and she’s absolutely right… in a lot of ways, grayson has bridged the gap between my mom and I… a tiny little peace ambassador we both love. it’s a beautiful thing really… and something I’ve been yearning for for a long time…

motherhood for me started when I found out I was pregnant. all I cared about since that unforgettable moment  was to protect my little human. I would close the vents in my car when I was driving behind someone who was smoking thinking to myself, get that cancer stick away from my baby… I would make sure I ate right… even if it was just going to be puked up later. I would write him letters about who I hoped I could become for him. a mother. a strong woman. a loving wife to his daddy. I would pray and pray that god would protect him while he was housed in my imperfect shell… that to me is when I became a mother.

now that I’ve known him for six months. I’ve racked up countless smiles, gurgles, cries, moans, and squeals of delight… I know what motherhood is. it’s taking the good with the bad and making something out of it. it’s shaping this little human to be the best he can be. it’s putting him first but making time for myself. it’s not just a label. it’s not just a role. it’s a life choice. I chose to be a mother. and I fully intend on rocking it. maybe not everyday, but I’m going to do my best to be all I can be… and hopefully, someday in twenty six years or so… he can look at me while I hold his child and I call him daddy… and know he’s worthy of the title.

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when you’re sliding into first and you feel a sudden burst…

… diarrhea! ha! I knew you’d be excited to finish that one…

just so you know there is a difference between 3am diarrhea and any other time… it’s a lot grosser… and seemingly a lot more messy. in the five, almost six months I’ve been cloth diapering I’ve only had one other blow-out… but this one takes the cake… I had to change the sheet, wipe down the mattress… oh! and clean off my arm… all the while poor little g cries his little heart out. which come to find out was because he has a fever… and probably a belly ache. I called the peed… they think it may be from me switching the formula (my best guess, I would have to agree)… but since the fever was above 100, they wanted me to keep him away from other babies for at least 24 hours. awesome. this would totally happen the night before we had a playdate scheduled with our lovely katherine and everly… which we’ve had to reschedule twice already… just my luck… nevertheless, poor little man is not doing so hot today. the only reason I’m getting a second to write this is he’s FINALLY sleeping. hallelujar. thank. you. tylenol.

as for me… I’ve already got my washing machine on the job cleaning away… and I’m going to try and veg to recharge and get myself ready for round two of sickypoop grayson. is it just me or does everything seem ten times harder when your husband is away? I feel like I’m doing pretty well though. just about two weeks without him and I haven’t thrown myself down the stairs… hahaha. kidding, only kidding…

that’s all for now. catch you on the flip side… toodloo…

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day one with daddy gone…

well, I’m happy to report day one sans john has gone pretty well. I was telling him yesterday as I drove him to the airport that the nights are not going to be hard because he’s been working nights forever… but I knew days would be a challenge. john usually watches g during the day. even when I wasn’t working he would stay up until threeish and hang out with us… I miss that. I miss having him around… and somehow, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to relieve me at any point today? wore me out just thinking about it… military families and single moms get some serious props from me today because honestly? freaking exhausting.

we did a whole lot of this today… he’s such an awesome cuddler… but I’m almost positive you can see that it’s only day one… and this mama is TIRED!

so I definitely miss my husband… but g and I are working it…

in other news… grayson is six months old today! when did that happen? I will post his six month post later… I have to keep this short because I am typing while entertaining him… in case you haven’t heard… motherhood makes you a master at multitasking… I’m also trying a new formula with him today… he’s been on a predigested formula because of the dairy sensitivity and the peed finally gave the go-ahead to try something with dairy in it… I’ll keep you posted on that one… as of now? not sure. he’s a tad grumpier than his normal content self… but I can’t tell if that because I’m overanalyzing…

today has been a bit of a comedy of errors… I woke up this morning to a FREEZING 48 degree house because I forgot to turn the heat back on. I went to pull g’s diapers out of the wash and realized I never turned it on, either! then I went to shake up his ready to feed formula and I hadn’t secured the cap… as I type this I have formula in my hair… hawt.

on a happy note. elsie found a bunny nest in the backyard… I counted at least FIVE! they are so so so cute. I just hope I can keep the dogs away from them… and every other predator for that matter.

welp, the exersaucer is officially boring… that’s all for now… toodloo…

I must admit the exersaucer is all kinds of amazing… what did mama’s do before they had these?!

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the teething monster.

(photo by kristen young.)

the teething monster has officially taken up residence in our household. grayson is drooling, chewing on everything in sight, refusing meals, and generally just being fussier than usual. bless him. he’s not being too too bad just yet though, so I’m thankful for that. I’ve noticed he’s got a swollen area on his bottom gums towards the center, so we’ve been putting oragel on it and letting him chew on whatever he wants… typically his amber teething necklace or anything soft. he likes chewing on your elbow or shoulder… or in this case, daddy’s finger.

I’m looking forward to that pearly white popping up. who ever thought the thing that brings me the most excitement is changes in my little human? just the thought of seeing that tooth kind of makes me want to do a dance. which is, in turn, making me also think I may be a tad bit of a crazy person. oh well, guess there are worse things…

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too many chores and a healthy dose of grayson…

today was spent completing as many chores as humanly possible. only two days until john and I head off to texas for our house hunting expedition this weekend. and thursday and friday I work all day. do you have any idea how many chores get done after I work all day? hmmmm, none. yes, I’m one one of thossssse. so today was very important. I got most everything I needed to get done, thankthelordjesus… but more so than anything I spent much of the day today admiring g. I feel like after last nights scare I was even more captivated by him. I mean would you look at this kid…

(photo by kristen young.)


(photo by kristen young.)

he’s growing and learning and shaping himself into a little human! everyday I’m seeing him do something new. he’s becoming more and more aware of the world around him. he currently thinks his hands are the tastiest thing on the planet. he stares out the window while we’re in the car fascinated by the trees and cars passing by. he’s eating us out of house and home. he’s rolling over and over and over. I put him on his mat this morning and two seconds later he had rolled across the room! you can see his little brain working things out now.

I am completely in love with the kid. completely. overwhelmingly so. it’s kind of an amazing feeling… and I think I’m beginning to really appreciate that feeling…

nighty night, friends…

p.s. totally off topic… but I LOVE paul mcdonald on american idol… don’t forget to vote for him! no seriously. V.O.T.E. um, k? k, byyyyyyyyyyye.

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all that worrying…

g stopped breathing today. or so I think… I keep telling myself it was hard sleeping. so say it with me now, he was hard sleeping.

I never thought I would ever have to say that. never in a million years. I thought all of this worrying of mine was silly. everything I obsess over was just my new mama jitters. just from hearing it from the docs in the nicu… and until today I think that may have been true. today was the first time I didn’t trust my gut. the first time I didn’t go to check on him just in case. the first time I genuinely feel like I failed him. which on one hand, I suppose I did… but on the other? I kind of think I saved myself a little bit. if that makes any sense at all.

I have g’s monitor strapped to the side of his crib, because I am that obsessive about his breathing. I will not go to sleep before I check on him at least twice… at the risk of waking him. I have to see his stomach rising up and down. I will reposition him… to make sure he’s in a position I KNOW he can breathe. am I obsessive? hell yes I am. does he have bumpers? yes. does he have blankets usually? double yes… why? because the kid won’t sleep otherwise. trust me, I’ve tried.

here’s the scoop. tonight I put g to bed at 6:45. he’s been going to sleep early, but it hasn’t been an issue because he’s been sleeping through the night. tonight was no different. I put him down… and he was out like a light in no time. I decided I would watch “black swan” … which is a movie I’ve been dying to see… so I sat down, turned the monitor on… and got comfy… about ten minutes into the movie I thought I heard a cry. but I looked at the monitor and it was on. no sounds coming from his room. honestly? I thought I was hallucinating. which I will tell you has definitely happened since he was born. I hear him at work sometimes people… so I didn’t think much of it. my gut said, just go check on him… but I thought, nah. I’m gonna have some me time. he’s fine. about an hour later I thought I heard it again… so I walked upstairs… went into his room to find him covered with his blanket… it was wrapped around his neck and smothering his face.

my worst fear realized.

I yanked him out of his crib and he wasn’t really moving. he still had lots of color so the first thought in my head was to turn him over and pound on his back… about two seconds into this he started coughing… and until about ten minutes ago… he was in my lap cooing and laughing at me. THANK GOD. I called my peed and he said this happens on occasion… he said I was incredibly lucky and that I definitely should remove blankets for the time being. I agreed. I also sent a nasty gram to graco… because my monitor was on… just decided it didn’t want to communicate with the parent unit.

moral of the story? don’t use blankets. don’t buy a graco monitor. and TRUST YOUR GUT.

how did this save me? for months I have been stressing that I was over thinking everything. that I was majorly sucking at this mom gig. and that I needed to just slow down and enjoy g. now I’m beginning to realize that’s a part of me being a mom. I’m going to over think things. I’m going to stress from time to time… and I’m going to trust my gut instincts. I’m still new. I’m gonna make mistakes. and lord knows, if this would have had another outcome, I would be destroyed. but it didn’t. so I’m going to be proud of myself for not crumbling in the moment… and I’m going to never buy any graco product ever again…

(photo by kristen young)

because this guy right here my friends… is irreplaceable…

that’s all for now. toodloo.

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iphone photos: week 17ishhhhhh

this week has been nothing but craziness… (see previous post, a vlog! yay! er, yeah.) so, I missed tuesday and wednesday pics, but I got the rest of the week… here we goooooooo…

saturday morning I went to work and then that afternoon I went with the crew from work to a knitting class one of our clients hosted for us. it was fun… knitting is not nearly as complicated as I thought it would be. as my granny said, you can knit… you just need someone to show you! so true.

sunday was all about hanging out… and who better to babysit but baxter? haha… it’s kind of funny. I’m noticing when grayson is up and about… baxter is not far from him.

monday I didn’t have to work so I got to see john a bit in the morning. he and g skyped the grandparents, while I took a shower and cleaned up a little bit. they are wicked cute… and? I got bax and els’ portraits in the mail from wallfry… LOVE THEM. they are so stinking cute.

thursday brought some much needed time out of the house. the weather was nice enough to open the sunroof on the escape! holler! I went to work in the morning and then came home, scooped g up, and headed to katherines for a quickie hang out sesh. it was awesome. I always feel like I’ve burnt a crapload of calories laughing it up with her… and everly is just out of this world cute. she decided she wanted to be zipped up in g’s carseat and g “nigh-nigh”… I could’ve squeezed her from cuteness alone… and I had to take a pic of the diapers hanging on katherines line… SO JEALOUS… I need a line out back at our next house. I mean NEED. heeheh

friday I worked an eight hour day, so when I came home I was DYING to cuddle with g… and apparently he felt the same… check out that grin. love that kid. and I am seriously going to miss moments like this at my job, it kills the puppy fever for me… I get to snuggle them and then send them home with their owners. it’s a win win. and yes, my hair looks freaking haggard in that photo…

here are the daddy daycare pics of the week. I was SO PROUD when he sent me the photo from target. he never takes g out of the house… (I think it makes him nervous…) so I’ve been urging him to get out of the house with g and LOOK! here he is all by himself, running errands. happy mama.

anywho, that’s our week… did you take pics with your phone this week? link up over at amy’s blog… the more the merrier!

see you next week… toodloo!

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holy cow, this kid is so stinking cute.

(in my very unbiased opinion…)

if you got through my first vlog, you deserve a prize…

here you go, g bouncing. he’s so stinking cute. I can’t hardly take it.

and p.s. did you check out the socks? I want some for me. the end. toodloo.

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