Tag Archives: mama

growing up grayson: eight months…

dear grayson,

QUIT IT!!! stop growing up SO FAST! you’re killing me!

hehe… kidding, only kidding of course. starting off as a 35 weeker and not knowing as to what pace you were going to grow, you are a BEST CASE SCENARIO… in every way possible. you have lit up my life and made it better in every way. you are my sunshine! (yes, your mother is ALL kinds of nerd. might as well come to terms with it now…)

this month has been the funnest. you have grown a TON! you are a whopping 22 pounds now! (and that’s only estimating… since we went to the doc two weeks ago)… you’re chowing down on solid foods like a champ. you LOVE getting ice cubes in your little munchkin netty contraption (p.s. THANK you to the awesome person who invented that little piece of baby genius!)… you are a mamas boy, there’s no doubt about that… but you get so excited to see your daddy. in fact so excited… you’re first legit word was DADA this month… and now you say it nonstop… we’ve had to patch that little eye of yours two hours a day this month… which you’ve been gracious enough not to mind… thanks for that, btw… you are officially on the move. if you want something… you go and get it! I hope this is a tell of what you’re going to be like when you grow up… your daddy is something of a go-getter himself… I’m sure you’ll make him proud… in fact, I know you already are…

the three of us woke up slowly this morning… and I asked your daddy what he thought about this stage. I told him I missed the newborn snuggliness and he said he wouldn’t go back if you paid him… he’s enjoying the stage you’re in right now. laughing, giggling when you’re tickled (you are wildly tickelish… EVERYWHERE.), picking up toys, eating our food, driving the dogs batty with your newfound mobility… what can I say kid? you’re the bomb. the apple of our eye I suppose… and I would not trade a moment of being your mama for anything. you are a true gem. I love you with every ounce of my being… so keep growing, eating us out of house and home, waking me up at all hours of the night, pooping in public places (cloth diapers make this interesting…), and spitting up on every one of my outfits… because you’re worth it all… every single crazy minute…

you’re all the baby I could ask for… can’t wait to see what kind of kid you become. (it’s okay if you take your time though…)

Love,

mama

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just breathe.

sooooooooooooo. my mood is much improved since the last time we met. we’ve been super busy… and for sara? busy is best. right now I’m exhausted… it was 105 here today! the past few days have been spent running around texas… today we went to the dallas world aquarium… flipping amazing. but we’ll have to catch up later… as for now… I’ll leave you with my favorite picture from today. a father and son moment. john works A LOT. so moments like these make my heart happy. I feel overwhelmed with pride when I look at this… because you can totally see that in john. he’s incredibly proud to be able to take his son to his first aquarium… it was incredible to watch. I needed it. anywho, that’s all for now. night night friends…

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now that wasn’t so bad…

oh my goodness gracious… today was such an awesome day. from start to finish. g’s rash is finally ::knocking on wood vigorously:: starting to subside. he was in a great mood from the moment he woke up this morning. john got to hang out with us… we went to the park in our subdivision and g got to swing for the first time ever… and slide down the slide with daddy. looking at the pics cracked me up. I thought g got his skin tone from me… but dang! my husband is WHITE! haha. the cast of the jersey shore would have a hay day with us… it was an awesome morning…

THEN! after I went grocery shopping BY MYSELF… ::win:: I came home to an awesome package from g’s grandma and grandpa j… grandma j made g the most amazing quilt. I cannot wait to post pictures! it’s so so so adorable… and? it’s super soft. g was already smooshing his face in it. they also sent him a really cute stuffed frog… (he was all over that in about two seconds flat…) a shirt from one of their recent trips… best part (aside from the quilt, of course)? COWBOY BOOT SOCKS! I about died from cute alone. I could not WAIT to put them on him. they are SO ADORABLE… and they sent a pair in about every color… this kid is really a texan now people…

anywho, I’m tired. SO SUPER EXCITED that john has a three day weekend. I cannot remember the last time john had a three day weekend that did not involve moving. I. am. giddy! plus, on tuesday my sister arrives!!! can’t wait to show her around texas… I’ve got some fun stuff planned for her, g and I while john is working… looking forward to it!

that’s all for now… nighty night friends…

p.s. is this sort of turning into a photo blog? okay maybe… but I am OBSESSED with this camera… and getting photos of the little man everyday never hurt, right?

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lately…

can I just start by saying my ABSOLUTE favorite thing about texas is the very fabulous fact that john now only works every SIXTH weekend?! if I had known in advance that that was going to be the case I would have moved JUST for that. seriously! it’s been so so so nice having him around on the weekends… and even better? he’s not a zombie. that my friends… is priceless. (especially because he’s been working his tail off hanging pictures, putting up decals, erecting furniture… there is no rest for him to be had right now!)

we’ve been wicked busy. moving is a process… we are now the proud owners of a garage… we were super stoked to be able to park our cars in it… but what happens when you go from having a basement… to not having a basement? crap overload. it’s taking over our garage as we speak… and we have yet to be able to park a car in it. dear lord… help us sort through stuff… we don’t want an overgrown junk drawer! it’ll happen I suppose… in time. ugh. patience… so not my fortay.

in other news… the kid is getting cuter and cuter by the hour. and now that I have this super spiffy camera I’m trying to teach myself how to use… I’m snapping photos like crazy. I’m going to keep this post short… for moving has fried most of my remaining brain cells… here’s some photos from the last couple of days…

notice the furry helper to your left. he’s making sure daddy’s got it under control. john decided to do g’s night time routine friday night so I could get ready for our… ::gasp:: date!!

baxter supervising… funny story – during our cross-country road trip, one of the hotels we stayed in had a monstrous tub. I mean massive. probably the largest tub I’ve seen in my entire life… while john walked the dogs, g and I got in the humdinger of a bathtub and I was giving him his bath when ::SPLASH!!!:: out of nowhere baxter came plowing in 90 miles an hour and jumped into the bath… I’m laughing as I type this. it still gets me. his face was priceless… it was like mid-air baxter realized OH SH*&%?!!!! hilarious. john said he heard baxter yelp all the way across the suite. too funny. this dog is hysterical I telll you.

waiting for the ::AWESOME:: babysitter…

saturday and sunday were spent doing a whole lot of nothing… besides unpacking obviously… but it made for awesome pics of the little man…

he’s sitting up and rocking back and forth on all fours… I’m pretty sure crawling is only a matter of time and determination on his part…

this is the face you get when you walk into g’s room after he’s napped and you greet him with, where’s my baby! p.s. that is drool spots from his one nap… he doesn’t sleep on nasty sheets. mmmk? I’m over it.

this is quite possibly my favorite picture… to date. this is his pre-dinner face from tonight…

this is his post-dinner face… bless him. he’s precious I tell you.

and that’s all I’ve got for now. see you on the flip side.

toodloo…

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growing up grayson: SEVEN months (what?!)

um… excuse me… how did this happen? how did we cross the halfway mark of my sons first year without a blink? this month has been insane. emotionally draining, stressful, and lonely for me… but at the same time it allowed a LOT of mama and grayson time… which I’m super thankful for… because? a RIDICULOUS amount of changes are happening with this kid. ridiculous I tell you… it’s all kinds of amazing.

◊ stats…

weight: 18 pounds 14 ounces (as of april 30th… I’m sure he’s gained since…)

height: honestly? not sure… I know he’s grown since last month, though…

◊ changes this month…

obsessed is not a strong enough word for grayson’s relationship with his feet. he is ALWAYS playing with his feet. it’s quite possibly the cutest thing ever. in the car on our cross country trip I would watch him in the mirror. I’m almost positive he held onto his feet for at least 12 hours of that trip.

he’s putting sounds together. right now it’s “boo… boo.” and it sounds like he’s reallllllly sounding it out like, “booooooooooboo.” which is my nickname for him. I’m always saying, what are you doin’ boo boo!

he’s sitting up unassisted. don’t get too excited though… it’s only when he’s in the mood. he’d still rather be doing push ups.

the most exciting new trick?! he’s getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth!!! it’s so close to crawling I could spit! seriously… he gets up… looks at me and rocks wildly! I cheer so loudly I’m sure the people in this hotel think I’m a weirdo…

◊ tricks perfected this month…

he officially puts himself to sleep. I can put him to bed at 7:30, he’ll talk to himself for about ten minutes… and then… ::SLEEP:: he’s a rockstar when it comes to sleep, but now all I have to do is his night time routine and put him in his crib. he’s the bomb. this was huge for me. night time is when I get ME time.

◊ things I adore about baby g this month…

this has been my favorite month so far. grayson is becoming a little human! he’s laughing. he’s grabbing things. he’s pinching me with his toes (which cracks me up because I pinch john with my toes all the time)… he’s sitting up. he’s bouncing. he’s enjoying going out and observing his surroundings. the kid is just SO fun right now. we spent much of the month just the two of us… and I enjoyed being able to hog him… (it was challenging at times, don’t get me wrong…) he totally kicked butt on our cross country road trip… takes after his mama, likes being in the car. although, I must admit I really think he got his personality from john. so laid back. so easy going. not really moody like mama… he’s a great fit in our little family. I feel like I fall in love with him more and more every day.

here are our pics from our seven month “hotel special” photo shoot… my memory card ATE all of my photos from the road trip and wouldn’t work for me… so I had to take these with my iphone… sorry for the crappy quality. not for long though! john got me a dslr for mothers day! fabulous pics coming soon to crazybabypants! woo hoo!!

until next time… toodloo!

happy seven months baby boy… mama loves you.

p.s. he’s OBSESSED with this drum. we saw it over at katherine and everly’s and my mom bought it for him shortly after that… this was a life saver when we were driving cross country. he LOVED banging on it. I did too… it’s NOT ANNOYING.

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welcome home.

as if moving isn’t stressful enough… as my friend katherine so eloquently put it, moving is where happy marriages go to die. can I get an amen? it’s been a wicked stressful week… but we made it to texas… john and I are still together and we close on the house tomorrow… for sure. hallelujar. so for the moment, I was feeling happy, relieved, confident that everything with this move was going to work out just fine…

and then… at waytooearly o’clock the front desk rang my room. john was already gone to work… and g and I were back to sleep after a five o’clock feeding…

hi mrs. s, sorry to bother you so early…do you own a ford escape that’s parked in our rear parking lot?

um, yes.

I think it’s been broken into. there’s glass all around it. would you like me to call the police?

um, yes.

and that was that. half asleep g and I ventured to the parking lot to check out the damage… they busted my drivers window for a friggin’ tom tom. I’m not gonna lie, I would have much rather handed them a hundred bucks for them to go buy a tom tom then to have to replace the window. I’ve never loved a car like I love this one, so it was sort of sad to see her like this…

under normal circumstances… especially with this huge move going on… I would have FREAKED out about this. yelling and screaming and being completely immature. tears may have even been involved. which is ridiculous. LIFE HAPPENS SARA. that’s what I’ve been telling myself all week with all the hiccups with closing on the house. it’s not worth the outburst… and you know what? I heard some awful news yesterday about a friend of a friend… and let me tell you… it really puts things in perspective. it’s just a car. it’s just a house…

I have a healthy 7 month old son (TODAY, EEP!), a happy gainfully EMPLOYED husband (who’s not too hard on the eyes ::wink, wink::), and two adorable sometimes annoying dogs. that’s what’s worth worrying about. these guys (and girl, sorry els)… all the rest? just fluff.

so for the rest of the day I will be waiting for the glass guys to get here and hanging out with my little man while john’s at work. so excited tomorrow is closing! we are going to own a house! for the first time in three years it will be nice to feel sort of settled again… never got that feeling in connecticut. we set it for 9am tomorrow, which means the walk through on the house will be at 8am… john asked if we could be ready to go by then… to which I replied…

are you kidding me? I’m gonna bounce out of bed like a five year old on christmas morning! no joke.

that’s all for now. take a minute to stop and be thankful for your peeps today… because honestly? that’s all that really matters. toodloo.

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becoming a mother.

when does motherhood begin?

is it when you see the two brand new shiny lines on the pregnancy test? is it when you excitedly run to your husband/boyfriend/partner/etc to share the news? is when the delivery nurses place that screaming pink baby on your chest? is it when you leave the hospital and realize this baby is yours for good? is motherhood a physical act or a emotional one? or both?

being around my mom for the last couple of days and hearing her refer to me as “mama” has got me wondering… when did I become mama? and then of course my brain went into… what qualifies me to be one? yes… that’s how I roll people.

my mom and I have had a rocky twenty six years together. we were never the bff’s she and my sister are… we drove each other batty pretty much the entire time. I was that girl that practically sprinted out the front door the day of my high school graduation… my mom’s favorite quote is… you were independent from the moment you were born. and she’s absolutely right… in a lot of ways, grayson has bridged the gap between my mom and I… a tiny little peace ambassador we both love. it’s a beautiful thing really… and something I’ve been yearning for for a long time…

motherhood for me started when I found out I was pregnant. all I cared about since that unforgettable moment  was to protect my little human. I would close the vents in my car when I was driving behind someone who was smoking thinking to myself, get that cancer stick away from my baby… I would make sure I ate right… even if it was just going to be puked up later. I would write him letters about who I hoped I could become for him. a mother. a strong woman. a loving wife to his daddy. I would pray and pray that god would protect him while he was housed in my imperfect shell… that to me is when I became a mother.

now that I’ve known him for six months. I’ve racked up countless smiles, gurgles, cries, moans, and squeals of delight… I know what motherhood is. it’s taking the good with the bad and making something out of it. it’s shaping this little human to be the best he can be. it’s putting him first but making time for myself. it’s not just a label. it’s not just a role. it’s a life choice. I chose to be a mother. and I fully intend on rocking it. maybe not everyday, but I’m going to do my best to be all I can be… and hopefully, someday in twenty six years or so… he can look at me while I hold his child and I call him daddy… and know he’s worthy of the title.

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the great cloth diaper change!

I was sooooooooooooo incredibly stoked when I woke up this morning and g was feeling better. I had been kind of up and down about going to massachusetts for the great cloth diaper change over at sustainablebabyish|sloomb… g was sick, I was going to have to go alone, and it’s quite the drive… two and a half hours one way with a six month old… not to mention gas is a whopping 4.15 a gallon here! but this morning… he woke up smiling. no fever. back to regular little grayson. it was on! we were going! but then… it took was felt like three years to get me and him together… usually I’m an “always be prepared” kind of mama… my diaper bag is always packed and ready to just yank off the wall… but lately I haven’t been going anywhere… so, um yeah.

then once I finally got the two of us in the car I realized… john has the gps in texas! so I had to go back inside and print directions… which took forever because the printer and computer were both powered down… holy moly. but I still had faith. I jumped in the car and noticed my gas light on… I mean really?! seriously?!

once I got gas… I took it as a sign from the big man upstairs that I should not be going… because it started to pour rain. I mean POUR. the visibility was crap… and I don’t know if you’ve been to CT lately but people drive like crazies around here… and there was no way I was going to drive in that endangering my kiddo… to miss the event. no can do.

with that… we ran over to target… grabbed some (gasp!) formula… and headed back home… I will still be changing his diaper at noon… but I am not gonna lie… I am incredibly bummed we don’t get to participate in such a monumental event for cloth diapering awareness…

but sometimes… you just gotta do what you gotta do…

and with that… we’re back to cleaning for my mom’s visit… she’ll be here on tuesday and I can’t wait! toodloo…

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story time… psst! it’s a downer!

every morning if I beat grayson up (which is rare…) I take the dogs out to relieve themselves before the hustle of the day ensues. last sunday was just like every other sunday… minus the fact that I had just sent john to texas… I was a tad on the mopey side… and hardly awake, when I noticed elsie digging at the earth in the backyard. she was digging like there was something to be found… I raced over… mind you, I was in flip flops and a robe… so as fast as one can “race”… in my mind she had found a snake… and I was worried she was going to get bitten… but to my surprise… she’d found a bunny nest!

I was giddy… they were so so so cute! plus, it grabbed me out of my mopey mess… even if just for a moment. it definitely sent my routine with els and bax into a tailspin because the two of them were gunning for the bunnies… in fact, after this elsie beat me to them and tossed one across the yard. luckily, I wasn’t too far behind… and the bunny seemed unharmed….

every morning since I’ve rushed to check on my little easter bunnies to make sure they were safe and sound. we’d had some serious storms… and guess what? they did just fine… this is what they looked like yesterday… they looked like little bunnies!!!

sadly… this morning when I went to check on them… they were gone. there was no evidence something got them (usually animals leave remnants, ew.)… so I’m hoping they just hopped away to go get some twitterpated action… and live happy little bunny lives… but it sort of reminded me of something that happened when I was younger…

shortly after my parents divorced… I must’ve been 10 or so… maybe 11… we moved to the country. I was sooooooooo excited. I’ve always been an animal kind of girl (you would have never guessed, right?) and this house happened to come with a couple of chickens and a ton of cats. back then I knew nothing about spaying and neutering…

when we moved in I met my first feral cat whom I named “rags”… basically because her color pattern looked like a bunch of rags thrown together… a couple of months into meeting rags she gave birth to four kittens… four completely adorable kittens… and I was the only person she’d let close enough to say hello to the babies…

as time went on, and the kittens turned into teenagers… they found awesome hiding spots around the property… their favorite being the motor of my mothers car. I think you may see where this is going…

one night my mom was heading out to teach her night class… I told her the kittens were in the motor and to let me know before she left… she was in such a flurry on her way to school she didn’t hear me… I should have just run outside and got them out right then… looking back I have no idea why I didn’t… I guess I thought she wouldn’t be leaving for a while or something…

but then…

I heard the car start. I ran out of the house screaming… just to catch my mom driving out of the driveway and down the road…

plop.

plop.

plop.

one by one… my kittens fell out of the motor of my moms car. it was one of those things I’ll never forget. I can still feel the way my heart felt like it had burst out of my chest. and how I wondered if they could possibly survive something like that. the way I felt as I buried the kittens.  I bawled for days. I swore I would never get attached to another living creature so long as I lived… but it was just another one of those situations where the kittens were my distraction… taking my mind away from huge changes going on in my life.

the bunnies were a lot less traumatizing then the kittens, but it felt similar. finding them the morning after john had left seemed sort of like a gift… so when they weren’t there this morning, I caught myself in a slight state of depression… grayson was still sleeping because he’d woken up a couple of times in the night… so I was alone and unsure of what had happened to “my” bunnies…

but then this happened…

this is going to sound wildly cliche’, but this kid has brought me so much joy in the last six months… I mean how do you look at that face and not forget about every bad thing that has ever happened? answer? you don’t. this past week without john has been a challenge… I won’t lie… I’ve had moments where I’ve questioned our decision for me to stay behind with grayson… and moments where I’ve questioned me staying home with him and not working… but the truth is… I’ll take it all. the good. the whiny. the happy. the teething. I’ll take it. every moment like this with him seems to cancel out three of the questionable moments in my life. he does not define me. I’m still sara with my own goals and my own life… but learning to be his mother has been the most incredible adventure of my life thus far. it’s changing the way I experience things. what can I say? motherhood is unreal. and even though I may not know what has happened to my little easter bunnies… I’ll get to enjoy plenty more moments like this with my little grayson. smiles and coos and cuddles galore! so, sorry bunnies… but that’s a trade I’ll gladly take…

that’s all for now, friends… toodloo…

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day one with daddy gone…

well, I’m happy to report day one sans john has gone pretty well. I was telling him yesterday as I drove him to the airport that the nights are not going to be hard because he’s been working nights forever… but I knew days would be a challenge. john usually watches g during the day. even when I wasn’t working he would stay up until threeish and hang out with us… I miss that. I miss having him around… and somehow, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to relieve me at any point today? wore me out just thinking about it… military families and single moms get some serious props from me today because honestly? freaking exhausting.

we did a whole lot of this today… he’s such an awesome cuddler… but I’m almost positive you can see that it’s only day one… and this mama is TIRED!

so I definitely miss my husband… but g and I are working it…

in other news… grayson is six months old today! when did that happen? I will post his six month post later… I have to keep this short because I am typing while entertaining him… in case you haven’t heard… motherhood makes you a master at multitasking… I’m also trying a new formula with him today… he’s been on a predigested formula because of the dairy sensitivity and the peed finally gave the go-ahead to try something with dairy in it… I’ll keep you posted on that one… as of now? not sure. he’s a tad grumpier than his normal content self… but I can’t tell if that because I’m overanalyzing…

today has been a bit of a comedy of errors… I woke up this morning to a FREEZING 48 degree house because I forgot to turn the heat back on. I went to pull g’s diapers out of the wash and realized I never turned it on, either! then I went to shake up his ready to feed formula and I hadn’t secured the cap… as I type this I have formula in my hair… hawt.

on a happy note. elsie found a bunny nest in the backyard… I counted at least FIVE! they are so so so cute. I just hope I can keep the dogs away from them… and every other predator for that matter.

welp, the exersaucer is officially boring… that’s all for now… toodloo…

I must admit the exersaucer is all kinds of amazing… what did mama’s do before they had these?!

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