Tag Archives: marriage

missing you on valentines day.

okay, so obviously john hasn’t gone anywhere… but I miss him. badddddd. I would not trade grayson for anything in the world… and john working nights has saved us money and given me peace of mind… seeing as he’s home with g when I’m working… but we never see each other. I mean never.

if you know my husband at all… you know he works six, sometimes seven days a week. he works 10-14 hour days (nights)… and then he comes home, watches g… and when I get home, he has to go to sleep. oh yeah, and he’s working on his mba… which means on mondays and wednesdays, he goes to school and then goes straight to work. we see each other in passing… but that’s really, about it. it’s hard. harder than I could have ever possibly imagined. and military wives, I have to give you serious kudos… because honestly, I don’t know how you do it. at least I know he’s coming home every morning.

I spend many, if not all of my nights alone. it sounds nice for a loner-esque type chick like me… but the problem is, when you don’t want to be alone one night… tough. he still has to go to work… and you’re still left sleeping alone and tending to your infant son at 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning. I’m not complaining… because there are so many families in the united states struggling without jobs… and here I am, working part time because his job affords me that luxury.

I guess all it comes down to is, it’s valentines day. I miss my husband. enough said.

oh and p.s. john, I hecka love you… and fortunately, you’re way worth the occasional bout of loneliness.

happy valentines day, lovey.


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dreamy mcdreamerson.

had a trippy dream last night. it was a first for a couple of months. when I was ahem, with-child, I would have trippy dreams all the time. the common one was that he was born with his heart outside his chest… or that he had no eyes. in fact, I remember asking the u/s tech at his twenty week appt if she could tell if he had eyes… she rolled hers and then told me he definitely has eyes… good thing she was right… tude’ aside.

anywho, last night I dreamt that I woke up in our house in california (yep, we’ll get into that later. flippin’ real estate market.)… and all of this had been a dream. marriage, connecticut, grayson. all of it. I remember feeling sad, but a little relieved. is that horrible? don’t get me wrong… I love john, grayson, and our life together, but a) itsalotoffrigginwork and b) I was really young… I am still young!

when I woke up it was a bit jarring. like, whoa! where am I? (hate those almost as bad as the falling ones.)… I didn’t tell john when I came downstairs (he watches little g for a couple hours in the morning, so I can get a nap.)… I felt almost ashamed. what in the world?

can’t control dreams, right?

in other news, I am terribly bummed I can’t got shopping black friday (we all know how much I love to shop.)… I just am not ready to expose little man to that kind of mania. (or my nerves, frankly.) there’s always next year. maybe I’ll experience a black friday toddler tantrum. a girl can dream.

I guess that’s all I’ve got for now. I need to post a couple of things I got on etsy because they are all too frickin’ cute. :)

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I’m a wimp.

so, tonight is the first night I’ve tried putting little g in his crib to sleep. he’s sleeping like a baby (har har) as we speak and I’m a nervous wreck! (as I lay in the guest bed, next to his crib, hello?) it will get better. I know this, but why is it so hard to sleep away from him? we don’t have a huge house. it’s not like it would take me longer then two seconds to get to him from my room. I guess it’s just new mommyhood, in all of its glory. plus, I think john working nights… I’m particularly protective… knowing my big handsome protective man of a husband, is ten minutes away… by car.

so, there’s my story. I guess I just wanted to document this moment to look back at later… when I’m thanking my lucky stars he’s sleeping in his crib… peacefully.

thankthelordjesus for an adaptable kid.

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