Tag Archives: motherhood

growing up grayson: eight months…

dear grayson,

QUIT IT!!! stop growing up SO FAST! you’re killing me!

hehe… kidding, only kidding of course. starting off as a 35 weeker and not knowing as to what pace you were going to grow, you are a BEST CASE SCENARIO… in every way possible. you have lit up my life and made it better in every way. you are my sunshine! (yes, your mother is ALL kinds of nerd. might as well come to terms with it now…)

this month has been the funnest. you have grown a TON! you are a whopping 22 pounds now! (and that’s only estimating… since we went to the doc two weeks ago)… you’re chowing down on solid foods like a champ. you LOVE getting ice cubes in your little munchkin netty contraption (p.s. THANK you to the awesome person who invented that little piece of baby genius!)… you are a mamas boy, there’s no doubt about that… but you get so excited to see your daddy. in fact so excited… you’re first legit word was DADA this month… and now you say it nonstop… we’ve had to patch that little eye of yours two hours a day this month… which you’ve been gracious enough not to mind… thanks for that, btw… you are officially on the move. if you want something… you go and get it! I hope this is a tell of what you’re going to be like when you grow up… your daddy is something of a go-getter himself… I’m sure you’ll make him proud… in fact, I know you already are…

the three of us woke up slowly this morning… and I asked your daddy what he thought about this stage. I told him I missed the newborn snuggliness and he said he wouldn’t go back if you paid him… he’s enjoying the stage you’re in right now. laughing, giggling when you’re tickled (you are wildly tickelish… EVERYWHERE.), picking up toys, eating our food, driving the dogs batty with your newfound mobility… what can I say kid? you’re the bomb. the apple of our eye I suppose… and I would not trade a moment of being your mama for anything. you are a true gem. I love you with every ounce of my being… so keep growing, eating us out of house and home, waking me up at all hours of the night, pooping in public places (cloth diapers make this interesting…), and spitting up on every one of my outfits… because you’re worth it all… every single crazy minute…

you’re all the baby I could ask for… can’t wait to see what kind of kid you become. (it’s okay if you take your time though…)

Love,

mama

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sisterly love.

are you sure you want her to stay for EIGHT days? my mom exclaimed over the phone…

yes, mom… she’s great with g. I could seriously use the break… I said with a sigh. it was only my forth time telling her this. we were trying to iron out the details of my sisters upcoming trip to texas.

alright then. I’ll book it when I get home tonight. and with that, my mom hung up the phone with a giggle. my sister was only 21 days away from coming to visit! I could hardly wait!

the night I went to pick heather up from the airport I was filled with excitement. I could not WAIT to squeeze her and see her love on her nephew for only the third time since his birth… I could not wait to show her our new home and stay up late talking and eating… but the one thing I forgot all about…

the fighting.

my sister and I are honest to god sisters. no mushy stuff with these two. we’re the kind that want to kill each other at the end of each day. I suppose it’s partly because we can be our truest selves with each other… and those selves? could not be more opposite. and if there is one thing my sister can do better than anyone… it’s get one my nerves!! this trip was packed full of the highest highs and the lowest of lows… and there was more than one occasion when I seriously wanted to punch her in the mouth… and I’m sure she had the same thought a time or two. for us? it’s just part of being sisters. we grouch at each other… and by the last day of her trip? I. Was. Done.

OH. MY. FREAKING. GOD! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I heard my sister scream from her room… she came stomping out, not unusual for her… but this time I knew something was up…

they cancelled my flight and booked me on another one to LA at 9:30! it was 9:00, there was no way we were going to make it.

okay, okay, calm down… call them and they’ll get it figured out for you… don’t stress… as I said the words I just had to laugh… the last visit we had she got stranded in connecticut because of a huge blizzard. this was just too funny.

she did get the flight all squared away, but it wouldn’t be until the next day. I think it was a blessing in disguise. she and I went out… had frozen yogurt… giggled at g when he had a massive poopy diaper in uber snobby belks… and talked like we hadn’t been annoying the snot out of one another for the past eight days. it was awesome. it was god’s little way of saying, hey… you only have one sister! come on!

the trip ended up ending on a high note. which was nice. we grouched at each other the entire way to the airport, you’re breathing loud! stop smacking! get on your side of the armrest! but hey, we lasted a whole extra day people. the second she stepped out of my little suv that was currently holding my sleeping almost eight month old (tomorrow! AHHH!), my heart swelled with sadness. overwhelmingly so. I was going to miss her. deeply. as I watched her walk away there was a fresh lump forming in my throat… unexpected as we literally griped at each other as we got out of the car, are you seriously going to leave your empty soda cup in the center console?… but here’s the thing. she’s my one and only sister… and for better or worse… I love her. even if we still can’t figure out how we could possibly be related… and I hate that as I sit here typing and listening to g sing his goodnight songs to himself, she’s in the air flying fifteen hundred miles away from me to her home. I will miss you heather… even if sometimes you could use a good punch in the mouth. love always, your one and only, OLDER and WISER sister, sara. xoxo.

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oh the drama…

today has been… a day. a horrid kind of day. the kind of day you want to rewind and skip! but, obv we can’t do that, so why don’t I blog about it already.

g has had an INSANE rash for the last couple of weeks (yes, it’s been that long. not exaggerating.). we’ve seen the peed three times for it and nothing seems to be helping. if it’s still here in a week I have to take him back to the peed for some tests. it’s a very angry rash that worries the crap out of me… and up until the last couple of days he didn’t seem to notice… but the last couple of days he’s been super whiny and obv uncomfortable… so it’s been not so smiley around here. combine that with teething and a monstrous growth spurt (21 and a half pounds!!!)… and you’ve got yourself a recipe for an incredible grouchy baby and a frantic mama. I’m tired! so… long story short… I’m glad today is done. hoping and praying this rash goes away soon and it becomes a distant memory… until then, pray my nerves don’t curl up in a ball and die. mmmk? moving on to the happy stuff…

g army crawled for the first time today!!!! best part? john and I BOTH witnessed it! it was all kinds of awesome. he saw a toy he wanted and he dragged himself on over to it… all kinds of amazing. on the flip side… he now knows he can get where ever he wants… which is not always a good thing… but it’s still fun to watch him explore his surroundings…

on another awesome note… g’s smartrike came today! it’s a gadget I’ve been eyeing since before he was born, but it’s wicked expensive… so I wasn’t going to get one. but then the other day good ole’ zulily had a sale on it… I couldn’t help myself… I pounced!! it took about a million years to put together and a million breaks to tend to my super grouchy and mega whiny almost 8 month old, but once it was done… it was fabulous! I’m super stoked on it. once I got it put together g and I took a walk. which was great because it gave both of us some much needed fresh air and it gave him some time to chill out… okay, gave both of us some time to chill out… best part? the greenbelt in our neighborhood was full of little brown bunnies! they must have followed us here from connecticut! they were so cute!!! anywho, it was the perfect end to a challenging day… and now g is sound asleep and I? well I get to have time to RELAX. nighty night friends…

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2 hours a day…

of pure stinking cuteness. since returning to the eye doc last week we have had to patch g’s eye not for one, but for TWO hours a day. a sentence I thought would be unbearable… but he’s been super good about it this time… almost like he knows it’s crunch time for that sweet little eye of his. doc said he’s most likely going to end up in glasses regardless… which is a bummer… it’s just a matter of when… I’m hoping these patches will help work a miracle… we shall see. on the other hand though… if he can make a patch cute… surely he can rock glasses… that’s all for now. toodloo…

oh and p.s. where are his uff da eye patches? unfortunately, this kiddos head grew to monstrous proportions… haha. no but seriously, his head got too big. seriously.

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lately…

can I just start by saying my ABSOLUTE favorite thing about texas is the very fabulous fact that john now only works every SIXTH weekend?! if I had known in advance that that was going to be the case I would have moved JUST for that. seriously! it’s been so so so nice having him around on the weekends… and even better? he’s not a zombie. that my friends… is priceless. (especially because he’s been working his tail off hanging pictures, putting up decals, erecting furniture… there is no rest for him to be had right now!)

we’ve been wicked busy. moving is a process… we are now the proud owners of a garage… we were super stoked to be able to park our cars in it… but what happens when you go from having a basement… to not having a basement? crap overload. it’s taking over our garage as we speak… and we have yet to be able to park a car in it. dear lord… help us sort through stuff… we don’t want an overgrown junk drawer! it’ll happen I suppose… in time. ugh. patience… so not my fortay.

in other news… the kid is getting cuter and cuter by the hour. and now that I have this super spiffy camera I’m trying to teach myself how to use… I’m snapping photos like crazy. I’m going to keep this post short… for moving has fried most of my remaining brain cells… here’s some photos from the last couple of days…

notice the furry helper to your left. he’s making sure daddy’s got it under control. john decided to do g’s night time routine friday night so I could get ready for our… ::gasp:: date!!

baxter supervising… funny story – during our cross-country road trip, one of the hotels we stayed in had a monstrous tub. I mean massive. probably the largest tub I’ve seen in my entire life… while john walked the dogs, g and I got in the humdinger of a bathtub and I was giving him his bath when ::SPLASH!!!:: out of nowhere baxter came plowing in 90 miles an hour and jumped into the bath… I’m laughing as I type this. it still gets me. his face was priceless… it was like mid-air baxter realized OH SH*&%?!!!! hilarious. john said he heard baxter yelp all the way across the suite. too funny. this dog is hysterical I telll you.

waiting for the ::AWESOME:: babysitter…

saturday and sunday were spent doing a whole lot of nothing… besides unpacking obviously… but it made for awesome pics of the little man…

he’s sitting up and rocking back and forth on all fours… I’m pretty sure crawling is only a matter of time and determination on his part…

this is the face you get when you walk into g’s room after he’s napped and you greet him with, where’s my baby! p.s. that is drool spots from his one nap… he doesn’t sleep on nasty sheets. mmmk? I’m over it.

this is quite possibly my favorite picture… to date. this is his pre-dinner face from tonight…

this is his post-dinner face… bless him. he’s precious I tell you.

and that’s all I’ve got for now. see you on the flip side.

toodloo…

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and now we’re back… from outerspace!

hi!

it’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it! well, long story short… moving, is well… moving. a whole lot of details had to be ironed out. I’ve had about fifty thousand people in and out of my house… hooking up things, selling things, some successful, some not… last but definitely not least to be hooked up? that’s right, you guessed it… internet. so here I am… coming to you live from our new bedroom floor (no computer desk yet…) with speedy internet. woo hoo.

g and I have been keeping busy. unpacking. hanging with new people… (we signed up for three mommy and me groups… overzealous? why yes… slightly.) trying to get the lay of the land… it’s certainly an adventure. yesterday my mother’s day present arrived… john got me a dslr. color me stoked. I’ve been clicking pictures like a mad woman… I just need to learn how to use the dern thing… stay tuned…

g had an appt with the eye specialist this morning… at godawfulearly o’clock… LOVE the new doc. the one in ct was so dry and cold… the one here was pleasant and kind. and they even had a sign on the wall that said they would pray with us if we would like (LOVE THAT.). his eye is not getting better, unfortunately. he’s gotten even more far sighted in both eyes since the previous visit in ct… and he does have a “drifting” eye… we’re going to continue to patch and pray to god it gets better. we’ll see. I have to say though… this kid is a charmer. he had everyone in the office stopping to say hello. he’s almost scary chill though… sometimes I wonder…

dare I say it… g is becoming mobile! he’s not really getting anywhere yet, but the kid is on all fours and rocking back and forth… he’s grabbing for things far away and lunging his body to get them… it’s exciting to watch. I’m hopeful that when he does decide to crawl john will be here to witness it… and even if he’s not, I may not tell him. I don’t want him to feel like he’s missing anything… not really lying, right?

the house is coming along. it’s been a long time since I’ve been happy to come home to a house… it’s relaxing… I’ve got a kitchen worth cooking in… it’s exciting. once I get everything situated, I’ll post pics… we have a whole agenda of visitors coming this summer, so I want to get it ready before they arrive! can’t wait to see them all… can’t wait to see g in the pool this summer… just so much to look forward to!!!

I suppose that’s all there is time for now… just a little update on life… toodloo…

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growing up grayson: SEVEN months (what?!)

um… excuse me… how did this happen? how did we cross the halfway mark of my sons first year without a blink? this month has been insane. emotionally draining, stressful, and lonely for me… but at the same time it allowed a LOT of mama and grayson time… which I’m super thankful for… because? a RIDICULOUS amount of changes are happening with this kid. ridiculous I tell you… it’s all kinds of amazing.

◊ stats…

weight: 18 pounds 14 ounces (as of april 30th… I’m sure he’s gained since…)

height: honestly? not sure… I know he’s grown since last month, though…

◊ changes this month…

obsessed is not a strong enough word for grayson’s relationship with his feet. he is ALWAYS playing with his feet. it’s quite possibly the cutest thing ever. in the car on our cross country trip I would watch him in the mirror. I’m almost positive he held onto his feet for at least 12 hours of that trip.

he’s putting sounds together. right now it’s “boo… boo.” and it sounds like he’s reallllllly sounding it out like, “booooooooooboo.” which is my nickname for him. I’m always saying, what are you doin’ boo boo!

he’s sitting up unassisted. don’t get too excited though… it’s only when he’s in the mood. he’d still rather be doing push ups.

the most exciting new trick?! he’s getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth!!! it’s so close to crawling I could spit! seriously… he gets up… looks at me and rocks wildly! I cheer so loudly I’m sure the people in this hotel think I’m a weirdo…

◊ tricks perfected this month…

he officially puts himself to sleep. I can put him to bed at 7:30, he’ll talk to himself for about ten minutes… and then… ::SLEEP:: he’s a rockstar when it comes to sleep, but now all I have to do is his night time routine and put him in his crib. he’s the bomb. this was huge for me. night time is when I get ME time.

◊ things I adore about baby g this month…

this has been my favorite month so far. grayson is becoming a little human! he’s laughing. he’s grabbing things. he’s pinching me with his toes (which cracks me up because I pinch john with my toes all the time)… he’s sitting up. he’s bouncing. he’s enjoying going out and observing his surroundings. the kid is just SO fun right now. we spent much of the month just the two of us… and I enjoyed being able to hog him… (it was challenging at times, don’t get me wrong…) he totally kicked butt on our cross country road trip… takes after his mama, likes being in the car. although, I must admit I really think he got his personality from john. so laid back. so easy going. not really moody like mama… he’s a great fit in our little family. I feel like I fall in love with him more and more every day.

here are our pics from our seven month “hotel special” photo shoot… my memory card ATE all of my photos from the road trip and wouldn’t work for me… so I had to take these with my iphone… sorry for the crappy quality. not for long though! john got me a dslr for mothers day! fabulous pics coming soon to crazybabypants! woo hoo!!

until next time… toodloo!

happy seven months baby boy… mama loves you.

p.s. he’s OBSESSED with this drum. we saw it over at katherine and everly’s and my mom bought it for him shortly after that… this was a life saver when we were driving cross country. he LOVED banging on it. I did too… it’s NOT ANNOYING.

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becoming a mother.

when does motherhood begin?

is it when you see the two brand new shiny lines on the pregnancy test? is it when you excitedly run to your husband/boyfriend/partner/etc to share the news? is when the delivery nurses place that screaming pink baby on your chest? is it when you leave the hospital and realize this baby is yours for good? is motherhood a physical act or a emotional one? or both?

being around my mom for the last couple of days and hearing her refer to me as “mama” has got me wondering… when did I become mama? and then of course my brain went into… what qualifies me to be one? yes… that’s how I roll people.

my mom and I have had a rocky twenty six years together. we were never the bff’s she and my sister are… we drove each other batty pretty much the entire time. I was that girl that practically sprinted out the front door the day of my high school graduation… my mom’s favorite quote is… you were independent from the moment you were born. and she’s absolutely right… in a lot of ways, grayson has bridged the gap between my mom and I… a tiny little peace ambassador we both love. it’s a beautiful thing really… and something I’ve been yearning for for a long time…

motherhood for me started when I found out I was pregnant. all I cared about since that unforgettable moment  was to protect my little human. I would close the vents in my car when I was driving behind someone who was smoking thinking to myself, get that cancer stick away from my baby… I would make sure I ate right… even if it was just going to be puked up later. I would write him letters about who I hoped I could become for him. a mother. a strong woman. a loving wife to his daddy. I would pray and pray that god would protect him while he was housed in my imperfect shell… that to me is when I became a mother.

now that I’ve known him for six months. I’ve racked up countless smiles, gurgles, cries, moans, and squeals of delight… I know what motherhood is. it’s taking the good with the bad and making something out of it. it’s shaping this little human to be the best he can be. it’s putting him first but making time for myself. it’s not just a label. it’s not just a role. it’s a life choice. I chose to be a mother. and I fully intend on rocking it. maybe not everyday, but I’m going to do my best to be all I can be… and hopefully, someday in twenty six years or so… he can look at me while I hold his child and I call him daddy… and know he’s worthy of the title.

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the great cloth diaper change!

I was sooooooooooooo incredibly stoked when I woke up this morning and g was feeling better. I had been kind of up and down about going to massachusetts for the great cloth diaper change over at sustainablebabyish|sloomb… g was sick, I was going to have to go alone, and it’s quite the drive… two and a half hours one way with a six month old… not to mention gas is a whopping 4.15 a gallon here! but this morning… he woke up smiling. no fever. back to regular little grayson. it was on! we were going! but then… it took was felt like three years to get me and him together… usually I’m an “always be prepared” kind of mama… my diaper bag is always packed and ready to just yank off the wall… but lately I haven’t been going anywhere… so, um yeah.

then once I finally got the two of us in the car I realized… john has the gps in texas! so I had to go back inside and print directions… which took forever because the printer and computer were both powered down… holy moly. but I still had faith. I jumped in the car and noticed my gas light on… I mean really?! seriously?!

once I got gas… I took it as a sign from the big man upstairs that I should not be going… because it started to pour rain. I mean POUR. the visibility was crap… and I don’t know if you’ve been to CT lately but people drive like crazies around here… and there was no way I was going to drive in that endangering my kiddo… to miss the event. no can do.

with that… we ran over to target… grabbed some (gasp!) formula… and headed back home… I will still be changing his diaper at noon… but I am not gonna lie… I am incredibly bummed we don’t get to participate in such a monumental event for cloth diapering awareness…

but sometimes… you just gotta do what you gotta do…

and with that… we’re back to cleaning for my mom’s visit… she’ll be here on tuesday and I can’t wait! toodloo…

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growing up grayson: SIX freaking months (belated…)

(photo by kristen young.)

welp, my kiddo is half a year old. kind of amazing really. there were moments in the last six months where I thought we’d NEVER get here. it was soooo far away. but here we are… we made it… and I have the cutest little baby boy ever… to prove it…

♦ stats

height: 27.25 inches

weight: 17 pounds 3 ounces (almost TRIPLE his birth weight… eep!)

 changes this month

→ he knows his name! no joke, if you say grayson he turns and looks at you!

→ he discovered his feet in the bath… now every bath the first thing he does is             grabs his feet… it’s like, look mama! I have feet! 

→ his feet touch the ground in his excersaucer… the kid is a bouncing pro!

→ chewing on EVERYTHING. hands, toys, elsie…

 baby tricks perfected this month

√ rolling over BOTH ways… the kid has mastered it. I can’t leave him any one               place for longer then about three seconds… because when I come back he’s               rolled down the street practically…

pulling mama’s hair. it’s like he grabs it on purpose… obviously he doesn’t, but       man… it hurts! I keep grabbing his hands and just reminding him, gentle… but       you know… he’s learning he can do things… why not tug on mama’s hair…

 things I adore about baby g this month

I know g has always had some sort of idea of who his mama is/was… but now I know he knows who I am. we’ve had a couple of moments this month where he had “stranger danger” feelings… and he just wanted ME! it was awesome. not the fact that he was upset… but the fact that he wanted me to console him. melts me every time. he’s also getting to know the dogs… which I’m enjoying. he grabs elsie and tugs on her and she doesn’t seem to mind… all of a sudden she’s reminding me of an old lab… just chill… which is great! eases my mama mind for sure… he’s getting more and more personality by the day… he’s tickelish and I can make him laugh for dayyyyyyys… which is one of my favorite things ever. he’s just getting more and more fun by the day… it’s awesome to be a part of.

that’s all for now! sorry it’s late! toodloo!

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