I got his last initial done, too… aren’t they adorable? I found them at wallfry. which is one of my favorite shops… everything is made by a mama of two boys in australia! go check her out…
that’s all for now… toodloo!
(title courtesy of grayson ;))
I’m feeling a little less than inspired lately… and a little debbie-downer-esque… I think it might just be this god-awful weather we’re having… but that’s neither here nor there… on that note, I feel like I muzzled myself a tad on baby boys three month birthday. which in turn, bummed me out even more. enough,
enough I tell you!
I read all of these blogs where mamas write letters to their babies.
I really, really love this and I would love to do it here on my blog… but I’ve been doing it on paper… and socking them away in his baby book for him to read when he’s older. there are some
things I don’t want to proclaim to the world. there are some things I want for just me and my son. and I think I’m going to keep writing letters to him… and I think I’m going to keep them
private. call me old fashioned.
one thing I can tell you. I feel like I fall in love with this kid more and more everyday. I know it was
a slow start. I remember bringing him home and looking at him and thinking, this is it? really? this is all I’m going to feel? … but now, I get it. now I get why parents constantly gush over their kids and cannot find anything else to talk about. they do become the center of your universe… and for good reason.
yesterday, on my way out the door to work, I went into the nursery. kissed my husband and leaned down to
say bye to my baby boy. he looked at me, cocked his head, and smiled… like he knew me. I melted… and went back for more… and was nearly late to work… but can you blame me? everyday he’s
doing something new… right now he’s next to me on his play mat cooing at himself in the mirror… I could sit here and watch him do this all. day. long.
yesterday also happened to be my play date with katherine and everly. which I think is more of a mama play date then a baby one considering g can’t really “play” yet. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I look forward to this day every week… it’s so good just to relax and talk to someone I can be
myself with… and it’s so fun to watch a baby that’s in a different stage… everly was highly entertaining… she learned to wink the night before… and watching her scrunch her cute little face and then grin with pride… it was something else. toddlerhood is a lot more entertaining… but I will admit, the thought of g
being mobile is a little nerve-wracking to say the least…
op… someone is soooo over the mat…
toodloo for now…
it’s official. I’ve been a mama for three whole months. it’s nuts. I would say I can hardly believe it… but these past three months have not been easy, nor have they gone by too fast… in fact, I think they’ve kind of crept by… and blurred together.
no one can possibly prepare you for motherhood. it’s unreal. and watching other people do it is nothing like doing it yourself. the fantasy meeting the reality can be harsh… and jolting. but I would not change a thing. I love my little g-man like crazy.
in the past three months he has changed so much. he went from being an orange preemie who needed a little assistance with breathing… to a thriving, kicking, rolling over, babbling, smiling, and laughing baby… and he continues to surprise us daily with his new awareness… I’ve never been so proud or in love with anyone/thing in my life. I have a son! a three month old, beautiful son!
so, happy three months baby g… you’ve made the world a brighter place because you’re in it… and I have a feeling it’s just going to get even better. I love you, grayson hawk.
I’ve been thinking about twenty-ten a lot today. only natural I suppose… this was a huge year for me. for a lot of reasons. many involving my little g-man… but not all. I’ve read tons of blogs today and many of them are posting top ten photos of twenty-ten. totally amazing… and some of the mamas got some great photos… but I don’t have photos for my top ten moments… so I thought I’d just write at cha’ about em.
these are in no particular order of importance. maybe in chronological order…
one – positive pregnancy test(s). I still remember the look on john’s face. whatthefrigginfrackdoidonow?! he was not thinking it would happen so soon. I remember telling my sister on the phone… a week before I even took the tests that I knew I was pregnant. call it mother’s intuition I suppose.
two – there’s movement! our 12 week ultrasound was incredible. definitely the best one of the entire pregnancy and I had what seemed like many. I just remember the feeling of lying on the chair while the technician ran the wand around thinking… this is real… this is happening… then, he started kicking and shoving his little arms at the wand every time she pushed even slightly on my tummy. he was already a feisty little one. by far, one of the best days of twenty-ten… possibly one of the best days of my life.
three – surprise! memorial day weekend john’s stepdad, norm was scheduled to come and visit on his way to his daughters house in mass. well, not only did he arrive… but john’s mom did, too! I was so happy to see them… and the surprise of having her here for the entire weekend was so freaking fabulous. I loved every minute… even though I puked the entire time… plus, the last day of their trip, I felt g move for the first time. it was a fantastic weekend and I’ll never forget it.
four – it’s a boy! I knew g was a boy. I just knew it. but seeing it on a screen and knowing it for sure… was magical. I would have been happy either way. in fact, in the beginning I was sure I wanted a girl… but there was something about my pregnancy, I was sure he was a boy… and I was happy about it. really, really, happy about it… and you should’ve seen the look on john’s face. holy lord, he was excited. uber frickin’ excited.
five – showers, showers, and more showers…! in the end, I ended up having three showers. two thrown in california by family and one here in connecticut by my boss… they were all awesome and they were definitely a treat. it’s really awesome to see how much people love your bebe even before he’s born. I do not recommend traveling when pregnant… (if you’re having a pukey pregnancy)… I’m pretty sure the entire plane could hear it… and it was not pleasant.
six – “you’re gonna have the baby this weekend…” jenna (my lovely co-worker) said on my way out of work. I had left early that day. I wasn’t feeling to savvy. I was thirty-five weeks preggo… but I had been thinking he was going to come early. I shrugged it off and went on my way… when I called her at five am the next morning to tell her she was going to have to work for me that day… I doubt she was super happy about her prediction… (I’m giggling right now to myself… still cracks me up.)
seven – “you can do it, babe… you’re doing so well!” my husband surprised the crizap out of me when I was in labor. he was supportive. he’d hunt down a nurse when he had to… and he got me popsicles all the time. when it came time to push he was so supportive… and even when I puked on him… he just kept telling me to keep going – we were almost there. he was a pain in my butt while I was pregnant… but he was killer when I was in labor… I guess I’ll take it. <3
eight – you’re mine. once the initial shock of mommyhood wore off… and the baby blues seemed to melt away (I’m sort of feeling like they’re still not fully melted as of late)… I finally got that feeling of holy cow, he’s mine… I’m the person that is in charge of this handsome little blob of bebe. he’s starting to develop a little personality now… and he’s smiling… so, lately has been a lot more fun… but I have to admit I still look at him from time to time and think… holy cow, you’re mine! it’s a trip, this whole motherhood thing.
nine – dad, mom, john’s mom, heather… having so much family out here this year has meant the world to me. I needed the help and support… and I needed to be around people that I didn’t have to “think” while I was around… if you know what I mean… just no work involved. especially my sister. we got to gripe at each other… and as crazy as it sounds… it was super comforting.
nine and a half – granny, nana, and papa. seeing my grandparents with my bebe was beyond amazing. since before g was born I was plotting on how soon I could get him out there to see them. especially granny, since she is 91… I wanted to make sure I (selfish, I know) had the chance to be around her with my son. I love them all to death… and it was an awesome experience… as well as being able to show him off to my dad, stepmom, john’s dad and stepmom… the trip to california was amazing.
ten – baxterlove. (as I sit here and type this, baxter is cuddling my side. trying to bring inspiration, I guess.) the entire time I was pregnant I fretted and fretted about baxter and how he was going to react to baby g. he’s been the only baby in my life for five years and I have spoiled him rotten. he’s gotten to go to work with me. he’s gotten to ride with me on errands. he’s moved several times with me. he’s been the best dog I have ever had in my entire life. and I was worried sick. and then we brought grayson home… baxter acted like it was no big deal. he’d sit on my lap with me and g while I cried trying to breastfeed. he’d mess up my pile of diapers as I tried to fold them (over and over because of his little bum.)… he’d lay with me as I’d try to get baby g to sleep. he’s been amazing. it’s almost like after five years of me taking care of him, he feels like it’s his turn to take care of me. and I freaking love him more than I ever have. which I thought was impossible. people told me my feelings for my pets would change after grayson was born. and I’m not gonna lie, my feelings for elsie have changed. I still love her to pieces… just not the same as I did before… but baxter. he’s still my little soul-dog. there hasn’t been one like him for me before… and there probably never will be again… so I’m going to take advantage of the time I have with him… and I’m going to hopefully instill in g the importance of animals… and what they bring. I better stop now. I could go on for days. I seriously love this dog. I tell john all the time I wish there was a pill out there that made dogs age like people… not seven-times as fast. see, here I go. I could go on for days.
so that’s my top ten of twenty-ten… there were many more moments that have been ingrained in my memory… but these were the first to mind. 2010 was a stellar year… and I can only imagine was twenty-eleven will bring. I have some ideas. but we’ll see what happens. I’m finding that what I want to happen and what actually happens don’t always coincide. ah, such is life.
bring it on, twenty-eleven. totally looking forward to it.
driving my sister to the airport tonight I realized… I wasn’t ready for her to leave. how ironic is that? I honestly, really enjoyed her this trip. we laughed, we cried, we complained about our parents, we giggled with my son, we had fun. serious amounts of it. an almost unfair amount.
leaving her at the airport was hard. I love that we live in the day and age that even if you live 3000 miles away… you’re just a plane ride away… but it still sucks. I wish she lived closer. I would love to see her more often… and now that I have little g… even more so. because I think family is important… and I hate the fact that ours lives so far away. but enough of my tiny violin. I’m really happy we got to spend the time we had together… I missed her like crazy.
she made my son laugh. for the first time. it was an amazing moment. I looked at her and I was like, “did he just laugh?” and she was like, “I’m pretty sure he did.” we both sat there dumbfounded for a minute and then, just like that… he did it again! he’s been doing it every now and then ever since. one of the best sounds ever, fyi… and I’m so glad heather was here to experience it.
I miss her already… we miss her already. can’t wait until next time.
hello christmas. goodbye christmas. thanks for visiting.
it really does come and go quick, doesn’t it? the anticipation is insane… and then it gets here and it’s over in a blink. I’ve had an incredible week. my sister is here visiting… and we’ve had a really great visit. she and I have one of those relationships where we adore each other… but we’re also happy to see each other go if you know what I mean. this visit has kind of been the perfect amount of time. I about died from excitement when she got here… and I’m not quite ready for her to go home… but that’s kind of nice feeling. we were just talking about that earlier, actually…
anywho. on with the show. here’s a recap of my week… in iphone photos.
oh yeah, and merry christmas!
so, this week has been the week of baxter being cuter than usual. he seems to find the cutest places to curl up and fall asleep. this is g’s bouncy seat… I’m pretty sure bax would beg to differ… when I saw him here I had to snap a pic. thankthelordjesus I had my iphone nearby…
here’s a pic of g right before his doc appt. he had just pitched a GIGANTIC fit… thank god I have learned the art of packing a diaper bag for every possible bebe disaster. he took a earthshattering… doodie after this. but, thankfully, I had everything I needed. I think the medical assistant about died when I opened up that cloth diaper and it was full of youknowwhat… hallelujar for an uhmazing wet bag. all in all, HORRID appt… I’m never going without john ever again. I was a mess when I got home…
it suddenly occurred to me on tuesday that christmas was right around the corner. seriously awesome that I had some self control this year and didn’t open presents as they arrived. made christmas… well, christmas. worth it.
what’d I tell you… he was sleeping in the cutest places. I could eat him. he’s darling.
oh yes, and he’s pretty sure he’s the bebe. he was claiming the downstairs changing station here. he’s a funny little thing.
shopping at the most fab mall in ct… stopped for a bite at pf changs. love the lettuce wraps. seriously, delish.
my sister’s nickname in our fam is “monkey”, so it was only fitting that she make little g a monkey at build a bear… we named him p diddy… isn’t he the cutest? oh and p.s. the checkeroutter lady did NOT find it humorous. she looked at us like we were annoying when she announced the name of our new little bundle of cotton… hey, can’t win em’ all.
friday: christmas eve
hanging with my little man on his FIRST christmas eve. I love the outfit he’s wearing. one of our finds on our random shopping excursion on wednesday. it’s a cashmere jumper that says happy. too. friggin’. cute.
later on in the day we decided to go have lunch at on the border. I married a crazy. it makes me giggle.
I. love. her. and she loves g. which I think makes me love her more.
saturday: CHRISTMAS… g’s FIRST christmas!
funny, last year we were just starting to broach the subject of kiddos. look at us now.
one of my fav photos of the day. precious.
one of our presents to heather. doesn’t she look adorable in it?!
and that about sums up the week. it’s been a great one. seems to be a trend lately. not complaining!
merry christmas from our family to yours… hope you get to spend it with people you love… lord knows, it makes all the difference.
see you next week.
oh and p.s. as usual, if you’d like to link up… check out this blog. her blog rocks… plus, wordpress sucks and won’t let me post the linky thing. have a great week! toodloo!
feeling the need for a random post today. to take my mind off of today’s (well, technically now it would be yesterday) horrid events. it was g-man’s 10 week check-up and the vaccines were even more traumatic then last time… I was bawling and john was working… (best day for him to have a “day” meeting… let me tell you.) and the nurse kept telling me, “oh, it’s ok. he won’t remember this…” um, k… but I will remember his shrill screams! thanks for understanding. definitely not my fav nurse. we’ve had her before unfortunately…
so, I was looking at pics on john’s phone today (wasn’t snooping, I swear!)… and I found some I hadn’t seen before… so I thought I’d share… listening to my little man sleeping on the monitor as I type this. thank god, no more vaccines for at least six weeks. I’m gonna need that long to prepare myself… and john is DEFINITELY not getting out of next time. little bugger.
these pics are super interesting to me! this was the day my water broke. so, these are the last pics of me pregnant outside the hospital… look at me! no idea my life was suddenly about to change! I was just depositing checks!
apparently, john thought he was a master photographer. look how patriotic! haha, he cracks me up. I’m glad I found these. we didn’t take many pics of me pregnant… I didn’t show until I was like 7 and a half months along!
this picture says it all. it was taken right after they took grayson away from me. what you don’t see is the neonatologists are putting g into a little tube like cradle thingy to wheel him to the nicu. I felt like I had failed him…
wouldn’t be a complete post without at least ONE photo of the little man. before we figured out he had a sensitivity to dairy/soy… the kid was always frowning… I would be too if I was in pain all the time!
that’s all I’ve got for now. definitely interesting the things he caught on his phone… I went from having 250 pics on my phone (mainly of my furrbabies…) to over a thousand since g was born… funny how they do that to you. I feel like I need to take a picture of every moment… it’s going by so fast!
so… the time had come to get my hair did. it was looking haggard. I’m happy to have it back to it’s normal lovely self. it’s seriously uhmazing what a good cut and color can do for you. honestly, it was sort of nice to take a day for myself. away from my boys. to gossip, sip tea, and watch as my fab new hair stylist made me a girl again.
makes for a good day.
and yes, I know I’m making redonkulous faces in both of these…. I seriously need to work on that.
until next time, toodloo.
no story would be complete without photos… right?
little g’s first changing session in the plane. cramped? yes. complicated? surprisingly, no.
papa with little g. we joked they looked like twins with the bald heads.
g with nana. she’s so pretty! (she and papa have been married FIFTY years!)
nana and patti chatting…
grandpa chris holding g. this is a funny photo. whenever g stretches his legs out straight like this, he’s working “it” out… no different here… during this photo, he let one rip.
grandma patti could hardly contain herself. she was super happy to get to spend some time with him…
he’s checking grandpa chris out.
they have the same ears!
this is one of my favs. right after this photo… he spit up all over gpa chris. I’m not gonna lie, I laughed pretty hard. leave it to little g for the comic relief.
heather and matt got engaged this year… so he’s little g’s soon-to-be uncle! first photo with their nephew…
another one of my favorites… little g loves to stand on his legs… he’s got himself all propped up on matt here.
from left to right: granny nelson, papa nelson, dad nelson, me, and grayson…
five generations of nelson blood. crazy. I’m so framing this.
dad and g. cute.
connie and g :)
exhausted, congested, me and g.
I flew three thousand miles for this pic. nuff said.
peanut, grannys dog, was jealous. that’s her lap!
even when I’m grouchy and tired… this little person still melts my heart.
g didn’t know what to think of uncle kyle…
john’s mom and stepdad came to visit… grandpa norms first time meeting g!
mom and abe with little g. grandpa abe’s first meeting, too!
I can’t find any pics of g with uncle blake except the ones on the iphone… and those are saved for this coming week in iphone photos… you’ll see him then! sorry blake!
can you see how much fun we had?! it was a blast. I’m exhausted.
until next time, toodloo!
well, I’d say little g’s first trip to cali was a success. we had a really good time and the kid is a charmer! I’m telling you! we both caught something we’re still trying to fight off at the moment… nothing like vacationing with a seriously snotty nose, a cough, and a sore throat. yippee for us! but he was such a trooper. he met a gang of people and just cruised right through it.
he got to see every one of his grandparents. my dad and connie, my mom and abe, john’s dad and patti, john’s mom and norm… I mean it was like grandparent central. and boy, let me tell you. the kid knows how to make people smile. he was chatty kathy. he also got to spend some time with his great grandparents, my nana and papa… nana sure knows how to calm down a baby. I realize she’s got two kids, five grandkids, and eight great-grandkids… but seriously, she’s got skills! he also got to spend some time with a couple of uncles and one of his aunts. my stepbrothers, kyle and blake… we nicknamed blake the “baby whisperer”… all he had to do was pick baby g up and he was content. he’s gonna be a great dad one day. kyle is going through the broody teenage thing (he mentioned to me a couple of times he’ll be 17 in July… I thought he just turned 16! silly me.)… heather, my sister, got to meet baby g for the first time. she told me a funny story. I went over to granny’s to get the car keys and I was over there for a while (we always get started talking…) little g stayed with heather and nana… heather said he started crying and she didn’t know what to do… nana walked over and went, “lalalala…” and g looked at her and cracked a half smile… like I said, she’s got skills :)… the biggest thing for me, grayson got to meet and spend time with his great great grandma, my granny. I’ve wanted him to meet her since before he was born. she’s had some health issues over the past couple of years, so to be honest, I wasn’t sure he’d get to meet her… for me, it was a wish come true. she’s been such a huge influence on my life and to have her hold and cuddle my baby… I can’t even describe it. seriously uhmazing.
so, it was a long… very eventful week. I got maybe three – four hours of sleep a day if I was lucky… which made for a slightly grouchy mama, but I think I pulled it off. being sicko didn’t help either. I must’ve called the peed three times for baby g. they basically told me if he didn’t have a fever and he was eating, we just had to ride the wave sucking the snot out of his nose along the way. joy. he’s still snotty today, but we’re working it out. :)
the first couple of days were spent with john’s dad and stepmom. they were so much fun. he pretty much slept through their visit. he finally had his eyes open and was interactive the second day they were here. we went to my dad’s house to hang out and he had his eyes open and was kicking his legs and making coos at everyone. I was happy because they kept saying how much they wanted to see his eyes. not to mention, we found out where the little kink in grayson’s ears came from… chris! john’s dad has the same exact ears. way too adorable for words. patti was redonkulously excited. the first night they were there… we went to house of beef (my granny worked there years ago)… and she was introducing everyone there to her first grandchild… I could’ve died. she was so proud. it made my day. when they left on thursday, I wasn’t ready. I can’t wait to see them again…
my dad and connie got to hang out with us quite a bit. which was nice, because the last couple of times I’ve been out to california I haven’t been able to hang out with my dad. not to mention, I feel like I finally got to know connie… and she’s definitely a keeper. she’s got grandma written all over her. I think my dad hit the nail on the head… she reminds me of nana… and she was a super grandma… so g-man is a lucky little thing.
john’s mom and stepdad came up for only a couple of hours on sunday. which was nuts because they had a 4-5 hour drive from lake almanor to my dad’s house. but they wanted to. grandpa norm had yet to meet little g so I think that made it worth the trip :). I could see how proud they were too, which made me even more sad john had to miss it. I don’t think he realizes just how happy everyone is about our little man because he hasn’t gotten to see it for himself. but they had a good time… and it was awesome to see them.
my mom and abe met me and little g in sacto for a little breakfast and a impromptu shopping trip to goore’s in carmichael. it was super fun. I think my mom was surprised she got to see us (as I had told her she wasn’t going to)… and abe hadn’t met him yet, so he was super stoked. it was hard to leave, as it was only a couple of hours… but I’m glad we went, because I think they needed to see him… 3000 miles is a long way.
my grandparents got to hog us the most. we stayed there. which was nice because nana and I are both night owls so we stayed up late and watched home movies, talked, laughed… it was such a breath of fresh air. I needed it. I feel like every time I stay out there, I get to know nana more… which I think is practically impossible seeing as I spent every weekend and summer out there for half of my life. but I spent a lot of that time at granny’s house. they used to call her guard granny… because she would let me sleep late and not let anyone through the door of her house. she’s funny. I love her. papa was funny this trip too. he said he wasn’t good with babies… and I had to put a load of diapers in the wash (yep, traveled with cloth! not as bad as I thought it would be! thank god rockin’ green ships! :)) and grayson started to cry. they were really dirty diapers so I kept throwing them in (had to take the inserts out)… and when I came out he was half asleep on papas shoulder… papa saying, ” oh it’s okay grayson…” I wish I could have caught it on video. not good with babies? pheff!
to tell you the truth, we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. nothing exciting to tell… but it was food for my soul I think. to be able to share my little one. MINE. with so many people that I love was out of this world. it was a trip I will never forget. and the kid travels like a rock star… so I’m sure we’ll be doing it again. I’m happy to be home, because I missed john terribly… and my baby pooches… but I already miss california and all of our family. it easy to forget what life is like when you live close to family. for the first time in a long time, I really wish we did. part of me thinks we’ll be back someday… but I don’t want to get my hopes up too far… and trips like this make up for it, even if just a little. (pics to follow :))